why do anything? why get up early in the morning? why study? why travel? why? why? I find myself having to answer these questions all the time from my students, so much so that I started asking myself these same questions. With the rise of technology and so much change people have trouble finding motivation. I think back to when I was a kid and I had similar concerns. How will math be useful when I am older? It is easy to get lost in our own little worlds and not imagine the possibilities. I have tried giving up, this too eventually became boring. A weird thing happened during so much social distancing from covid19, I started to crave what I used to claim to hate. Everything became upside-down. As I have gotten older I have gained more authority and learned that I have to become responsible for my own actions. I had to own my failures and successes. I have failed so many times that I have lost count. Now I ask myself what is failure? When I was a kid I used to measure this ...